I just don’t have time
Brrrrriiinnngg [Me] Hello? [TTB] Hey, it's me. I haven't heard from you in a long time. [me] Oh hey, yah, sorry about that. I've been kinda busy lately. [TTB] So busy you never even write anymore? We used to communicate so often! [me] Yah, well that's when I had more spare time. And energy too. The chemo left me pretty much energyless for a good portion of it. I mean I couldn't even look at the computer screen for more than 15 minutes without getting a headache and nauseas. [TTB] Yah, I know, I know, you told me that. But I see you online a lot nowadays. But you just ignore me. I don't hear a word from you. [me] Yah, well I gotta work ya know. I'm still suffering from chemo brain, and my memory, geez my memory , it's toast. I remember less and less of my life nowadays. And I still can't multitask very well, so I need to keep focused on only one thing at a time. Plus I still don't have all of my energy, so after working all day, I'm pretty tired. Especially since I have this cold thing for 3 weeks that hasn't gone away yet. That makes me even worse cuz I don't sleep well, especially when I have a hard time breathing and I'm coughing up a lung. [TTB] But we used to communicate so often. You told me everything that goes on in your life. I live for that! Now I'm lonely without you! [me] Well ya know, I just don't have the energy or desire anymore. Ya know, you were never a major part of my life. Just a part time thing, ya know. Something I do on my spare time. And ya know, I'm just not that into it right now. [TTB] (cries) [me] Hey, don't cry. Look my radiation treatments are almost over. Less than a week left. After I start recovering, maybe I'll have some more time. Who knows, maybe even my desire will be back as strong as ever. I can't guarantee anything though. [TTB] (sniff) Really? You might come back? [me] Yah, maybe. Like I said, no promises or anything, but I'll definitely say hi every once in a while, at the very least. [TurboTiger's Blog] (sniff, sniff) Ok, I'll just wait around till I hear from you again. [me] Alright, I gotta go, I'll talk to you later. (click)
