Here's the background, quite a few of my coworkers think that these two other coworkers would be a good match for each other. I'm closer to the male coworker as he works in my dept. For the last 2 months, my fellow partners in crime, one of which sits next to the female coworker in question, have been trying to scheme or setup some sort of social gathering where they both can "Hook up". But plans fall through, or something happens. But last weekend, our female target was participating in a choral concert. We thought it was a perfect time and place to do the setup, because right afterwards, there was a party at female target's place. We decided to do the setup, and all of us in on it agreed we all should go in support of the hookup. Now choruses are not my thing, and especially when I had to pay $30 to attend. I didn't think it was going to happen, and didn't buy my tickets until the day before after finding out that everybody actually bought tickets and was going to go!
So the day of the concert comes, and I am thinking I'm going to be aurally assaulted and my patience tested to the limit. One of my other coworkers says he's going to bring a flask, but depending on how long the concert lasts, there might not be enough to share. I agree but I don't have a flask, though I do remember another coworker who isn't attending does keep a flask with him, and ask to borrow his secret flask stash, still full of single malt scotch. Normally I don't really like scotch, but I was pretty desperate, so I borrowed his flask for the night, and promised I'd pay him back somehow.
We decide that we should head to El Torritto (a place that's down the street from us) for happy hour and have a couple of drinks and appetizers before heading down. So we promptly got ourselves liquored up and headed down to the concert. When I got to the concert, I realized that I'll be inside a church and a bit of catholic guilt came over me for taking out my flask and drinking it inside the house of god. Therefore we decide we should take a quick gulp before the concert starts, so picture 3 guys standing outside the doors of a church taking a couple of swigs out of a couple of shiny metal flasks.
Now the concert was beautifully sung, and music performed by the San Jose orchestra was equally as beautiful. The songbook was only 6 short pages long, and we were hopeful to a speedy torture. Did you know that choruses sing along at a speed that would make glaciers seem like olympic sprinters? To top it off, the first half was like I was trapped in a old disney cartoon and I can't get out!
Intermission finally occurred in what seemed like a years time, but my clock said it was only an hour later, and I made a beeline to the bathrooms which was outside. My fellow instigators saw me take off, and thought I was making a break for the car, and was preparing to tackle me on the grass. I had to reassure them I was only heading to the bathroom with no intention of escaping. We then huddled together outside in the rain and took a couple of more swigs to make the punishment a bit more bearable. This time we were a bit more buzzed and decided to sit behind our group, which was almost in the very back row. At this point, we were in ADD mode and started to poke, make faces, and joke with our fellow group members while making as little noise as possible. We were doing a pretty good job at it until I saw my fellow cohort reach inside his jacket for his flask. Again my catholic instincts took over and promptly swatted his hand with my program guide, which inside a church, made a sound similar in decibels as thunder. In horror to what I had just did, I did the only thing I could think of, and hide my program guide and look like I didn't just hear a loud booming sound. My flask wielding cohort on the other hand froze in complete shock, either because I swatted him, or he was stunned by the sonic boom that just hit his hand, and had his face and hand frozen in time as he was reaching for his flask. A couple of my other partners in crime turned around and started laughing so hard they almost fell out of their chairs.
After the event was over, we congratulated our performing choral coworker on how great the concert was, and then proceeded to her house for the real reason we came, the party.
Pt. 2 coming shortly.